Working in helldesk
💻 Work
Today, my workday has been awful. I work as a Helpdesk/Technical Analyst in a corporate setting, and I feel miserable. Don't get me wrong, I like my job. I enjoy helping people, working in IT, and even the software I get to support. However, I dislike being constantly monitored by certain individuals, having to meet KPIs that are ridiculously hard if you want to keep your sanity (which end up being our performance goals submitted on Workday), and being ignored by people from other teams who, I guess, feel superior because they are not in Support—Product Management, Directors, etc. Today, I just solved one case. Only one. I have the highest number of satisfaction surveys, as well as the highest marks. I also meet another KPI related to efficiency (not sending to Tier 2 tickets that could have been resolved in Tier 1), but I struggle with the quantity of cases. The goal is 20, and the type of cases are not "fast" nor related to Windows products or SSL certificates—it's specialized software, and each case usually requires some time. Moreover, we are only five people for the entire European Union, and with each monthly release, the backlog gets bigger and bigger.
I struggle with the fast-paced nature of IT, as well as being constantly rated by my Salesforce dashboards. I just can't shake the feeling I experience after having a look at such dashboards and seeing the orange indicator... I feel afraid of losing my job because I'm 'underperforming' for solving 17 instead of 20 cases per week. I also feel pretty useless and a clown.
I guess I just hate the nature of the corporate world. Moreover, I feel ignored in my team. I'm the youngest so far in my team (I'm in my early 20s, while the others are in their 40s and 50s), and I can sense some jealousy because I learned quickly, even though they didn't participate in helping me with any of my training. Well, if I'm being sincere, I didn't receive any formal training: everyone just told me to 'learn by doing' cases, and I had to figure out a lot of things on my own.
When I decide to send a 'can someone help me?' message in the Teams chat, I'm left on read. And I really struggle with that, because I'm the first one to answer if someone in my team needs help. I have also tried to keep a low profile and not stand out in any way, because I don't like the idea of the corporate ladder and I don't believe in it... I had the opportunity to present my CV to be a Team Leader and I just brushed it off.
🌸 Yoga & Studies
I'm starting to learn math from scratch: I've joined a course at the university, and I'll be starting over my career path. I've enrolled in a Computer Engineering degree, and I'll need strong math skills, so this course will prepare me for the rest of the math subjects. I'm a little triggered because I have math trauma, but I will do my best.
I'm also happy that I'm keeping up the habit of practicing yoga daily. It has helped me a lot both mentally and physically. I'm a huge fan of yoga (without the spiritual aspects), and I love doing unusual asanas and challenging my body. Since I was a kid, I struggled a lot in Physical Education at school, and practicing yoga is helping me overcome the unhealthy relationship I had with sports. Also, I'm planning to start weight training at home again, as I used to do soon.
