Disappointed with my last date
I decided to ask a guy out on a date. He accepted, and we agreed to meet at his house. We already knew each other, so it wasn’t creepy at all—I had been to his house before.
I took the lead on the date, always asking before making the next step to be sure he was comfortable (“Can I give you a kiss?”, “Are you okay if I do X?”), without trying to sound repetitive.
After some cuddling and kissing, I asked him if he had enjoyed it so far. Out of nowhere, he went cold: “Idk, Mónica, I feel weird.”
“Why? Are you okay?” I asked. “I don’t know how to interpret my feelings,” said the 30-year-old kid. Then he went silent. I asked if he wanted to talk, but he didn’t.
Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK.
Why would you go on a date if you’re not into someone? Why would you accept lying on their chest? Why would you accept a first kiss? Why would you even get into sexy time just to brush it off?
The crazy thing is, he already knew me. He had an idea of who I was—it wasn’t our first time meeting.
That date stressed me out. I had showered after work, done my hair, put on a little makeup… I even prepared a cute outfit. Only to be shut down after asking him for consent at every single step.
I cried a little at his house after hearing that shitty phrase with no explanation. I tried to hide my tears, and honestly, that was a win—because I usually struggle to cry at all thanks to the antidepressants.
I even asked him directly if he wasn’t attracted to me. I wanted clarity, because if someone tells me they’re not into me, I can move on easily. But, as always, men like him give “neutral” or cryptic answers like: “I’m not sure what happened,” “Now I see I’m not ready to date,” etc.
Holy shit—just tell me you don’t like me, and encourage me to move on, instead of throwing out lame excuses. Come on, you’re 30…
The good thing is, after that horrendous date (thanks to his behavior at the end), my main concern wasn’t him—it was me. I was worried about spiraling, about feeling sad. But I’m okay. In fact, I’m much better than I expected.
Still, I’m angry. I wonder if I should have been less accommodating with him—but that’s not who I am. I always struggle to be angry with someone, at least in the moment. I even asked him for a hug before leaving, and I haven’t heard from him since.
Now, the anger is here, and I need to release it. I’d love to punch his face, because the end of the date was humiliating for me—but I won’t see him again.
And if he ever does come back, I’m pretty sure I’ll tell him not to bother me again.
DATE #1 – FAILED!